and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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