honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
Why is your signature on my underwear?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Randomize