You made me cry and you don't even care
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
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The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
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I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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