Only a mothe r could love this liver
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
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