k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Randomize