..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
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He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
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Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
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