3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Randomize