go do what you do best...puke behind churches
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
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