He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
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I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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