everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
only if we run a train.
done.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
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