it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
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What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
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Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
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