I swear she didn't look like that last week.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
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I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
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I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
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