dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
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I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
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My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
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