We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
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