That's when you crack a 10am beer
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize