all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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