your parents love me but you hate me
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
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