Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
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whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
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I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
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