Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
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