people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
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