He asked to "fluff my boner.."
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
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