I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
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