Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
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