there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
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