dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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