So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
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So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
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FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
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