Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
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