Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
I just gift wrapped bread.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Randomize