i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
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IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
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Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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