i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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