Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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