hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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