alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
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