I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize