she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
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Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
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She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
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