I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
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