the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize