she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
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I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
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I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
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