:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
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I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
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"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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