JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
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