I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
check it out our google latitudes are spooning
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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