we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
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Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
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