you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
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