Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize