my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Randomize