dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
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