i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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