Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize