my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Randomize