You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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